I seem to be the target of some grand scheme, whether plotted by a government or business agency or some grand divine entity who enjoys seeing me annoyed.
Why are people so fucking stupid?
I normally don't use these journal entries as rant pages but gods damned I need to fucking rant. Between my job working in a shit-house tribal casino, working 6 days a week and dealing on a day to day basis the incessant bullshit that is human drama, I'm amazed I haven't gone postal! Its as if everywhere I go I find these creatures, these pseudo-humans that walk amongst us who are psychologically unstable and utterly horrible creatures in life just seem to flock where I am!
When I ran away from my home in Washington, I did so because of a horrible creature I let into my life and couldn't rid myself of for fear of ending my existence or worse. I spent over a year fighting to find a job to get back on my feet, and when I do, its in the same shit hole my family members work at where they have NOTHING good to say on about the place or the people therein. My supervisor is an egotistical ass who thinks he knows everything and takes advantage of others, one of my co-workers I swear is bi-polar, 90% of the idiots that work in that casino are illiterate morons whose lives revolve around this tiny middle of nowhere casino who wouldn't know a bit of the outside world if it came and bit them square on the ass, and one my new neighbors is this alcoholic who blasts his music from his car at every turn who I can't tell if he's dangerous or just a drunk dumbass.
Everywhere I turn I'm surrounded by these cunts! Why!?
I know I've made bad choices and may have made contact with things I shouldn't, hell I know I have, but does that merit I have to endure more of this asinine idiocy, this vacuous pit of junkies, burn outs and people who life turned into near blathering fools?
What's worse is I'm empathic! I pick up on human emotions like a gods damned sponge and it affects me in the worst way! Tonight I had to go talk this neighbor dude down because he was blasting music too loud and my grandmother nicely asked him to turn it down. In his state he took it as insult and later came to our door making a fuss over it. After that he let his fucking car alarm blare for almost 15 minutes before I finally broke down, went outside and talked the dude down. He literally changed thought processes and personalities in seconds every time he started a new sentence.
Where do these fuckers come from!? Why can't they just, I dunno, go to a tall cliff and fling themselves from it, spare the rest of the world their presence and possibilities of contributing to the gene pool!? I'm so sick of dealing with this, the emotional strain, the feeling of being surrounded by pure trite bullshit!
Is this what life ultimately amounts to? Will there ever be freedom in the living waking world that exempts me from having to endure people like this?